A Good Week- CRASHED LIKE NASCAR

Well... Somehow life took one massive U-Turn after last weekend. I went from ecstatic to rock bottom and misery in a matter of days. Yeah, you got it. JM- a proverbial chicken shit, ran away after getting the goodies and nary a rhyme or reason why he felt the need to vacate my life like a stealth weasel. Tried calling, at least once a day, IM messages, phone text. Felt that maybe something had happened to him and no way to know. Now, I see his ass on-line, but he's not talking to me. What the fuck? An explanation would be nice! Change your mind? Find someone else to screw? Didn't like the way I have sex? WHAT?!!!!!!!!! Yah know what I mean? Hell, I'd rather hear he thinks I'm a lunatic or that I'm a little too racy or not right for him and his daughter than nothing at all..... It's very chicken shit to run off and hide if you ask me. Maybe if he was an ass, I'd feel better about all the sweet cutesy things he did for me, like make me a home made amaretto cheesecake. Made me feel pretty darn good about myself. Real boost to the ego and I laughed. He had this infectious laugh and sweetness..... And now, gone. Cried a few times, felt like maybe, just maybe things would work out, because there seemed to a great chemistry going on. So what the hell did I do wrong? Or am I just a victim of typical male behavior? It seems the latter is now true, because I feel used and cheap and discarded like old news papers. I'm gonna be ok.... I know I will be ok. I mean... Fuck.... I spent so much time trying to be ok with living alone. Trying to be ok with the fact that sometimes I am lonely, but it won't kill me. Then WHAM! Someone came into my life and it seemed perfect and right and good. Now, I gotta start all over again. Talk myself into that state of mind where I'm not ready to fall to pieces at any given moment. FUCK! This sucks ass.

~A Cranky Tammolly


...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin